Dealing with AnxietyFriday, July 04, 2014
After taking a month-long hiatus from blogging, I am returning with what I think I will call a confession (or a short story - whichever one you prefer). I am sure everyone has heard the stories that I have shared about where I come from and my problems dealing with depression as a child, but all of it really stemmed from my inability to cope with my anxiety.
I am an introvert. I wish I wasn't an introvert, but I am. I am quiet, curt, and will only speak if spoken to. I don't know if it has anything to do with respect and the culture that I was raised in, but I just can't seem to kick the habit to the curb. It takes me forever to open up to people because I am easily scared. I am one of those people who have low self esteem and have very little to no confidence. I get scared so easily of what "what ifs" and constantly fight with myself with the decisions I have made, haven't made, or had made.
I cannot deal with pressure, angry adults, or anything that has a timer. It is ironic because I really want to be a teacher and I know that teachers deal with pressure, timing, and at times angry parents. A lot of the decisions that I make are influenced by my worries rather than for my well-being. An example would be how I decided to stay home all summer to house sit rather than going out with friends because my house is located in a neighborhood prone to robberies. Being stuck in a four-room wall can really enclose all of your thoughts and at times eat at you.
It's OK to feel scared and to have worries, but do not let it take control of your life. When things get too out of hand, pause. While we grow up being told that our success is measured by the number of zeroes at the end of our paycheck, our happiness is something that we should always put first. We were never taught how to be happy or the importance of being happy and because of that we question a lot of things in our lives from the decisions we make to the things that we do.
Our life is too short for us to drown our happiness and dwell in our anxieties and negativity. While it is definitely easier said than done, the first step to overcome our fears is to accept them with the willingness to change our way of thinking. Nothing is ever too difficult to overcome and accomplish and no opportunities in life are worth trading in our happiness for.
Have I overcame my anxieties? No, but I am here to let those who are just as anxiety-filled as I am know that you are not alone and that you will never be alone. Everyone has their own share of worries and you do not have to go through it alone. Whatever you face in life will go away and whatever mistakes you have made in the past will be overshadowed by your success.
Do not let anything deter you away from your happiness and if I can do it (little 'ol me), you sure as hell can do it too. I'm rooting for you, friend.