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Love's Emotions


You probably would not believe me if I told you how often I have been asked to advise a situation where friend A wants to know if they truly are in love with friend B. You would probably not believe me if I told you how often I have been dubbed the "Love Doctor" by my friends because of how "successful" my current/past relationships have been.

Truth is, I do not even know how love works.
I do not even know at what given moment you start to feel like you are in love or which of my hormones get triggered first. What I can tell you is of the many emotions that I feel when I am certain of my feelings towards someone - thus telling you of how I think I fell in love nearly a year ago.

I will not hide it - my generation is quite shallow and selfish.
A good portion of young adults at my age are looking for everything but commitment and want to thrive in a world that does not expect a lot of work involved. Parties, living with parents (and cashing in on their support) and constant complaints via social media about their horrendous jobs (that they are more or less not grateful of having) are what makes up the thought process of my generation and it is a bummer. This kind of mentality carries over to the way dating works with adults my age - especially with those who have been living in privileged lifestyles. With how accessible the internet is, it is quite easy to look up just about anyone if they have a ton of social media accounts to their name. Physical attributes seem to be at the top of the list of qualities a potential significant other should have as well as their network value (I know, odd). How does a number of followers correlate to whether or not that person can fulfill the duties as a significant other is beyond me and quite frankly, I do not think I will ever understand that thought process.

I guess you could say I am old school.
Personality speaks louder to me than the way someone looks. You could date the world's most stunning model, but I would probably develop a migraine quite quickly if I cannot hold a conversation with them nor have them be attentive to the things that I say. So what does this have anything to do with how I fell in love, you ask? Simply put: I fell in love with someone before even knowing what they looked like. Crazy, right?

Being in love makes you feel a multitude of emotions that sometimes makes you wish you could shut down for a bit - just so that you could have a breather. I think I have gone through every stage of emotions thus far being in a relationship and before you start wondering if this is healthy or not, let me explain to you the cause of these feelings.

Sadness (Worries, stressed, depression, exhaustion, etc.):
The sole responsibility as a significant other whether it is as a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband, you are to be there to support each other through the tough times just as much as you are there to celebrate with them during the best of times. When you are in pain, I am in pain. Nothing pains me more than to see you sad and not because I am pitying you but because I feel so guilty and upset knowing that I cannot just take this moment of sadness and toss it away so that you can smile again. As your significant other, my favorite facial expression that you wear is a smile.

Anger (Frustration, anxiety-ridden, annoyed, etc.):
On some occasions, I do feel mad, and much like feeling sad it is because I only want to do what is best for you. I feel frustrated when I see windows of opportunities that you can take that will either vastly improve your work-play life or if I see you belittle yourself as an individual. Empowering your significant other to go beyond their comfort zone and helping them achieve goals they did not think was possible is probably one of the most gratifying experiences ever. I want to see you succeed and when I know you are capable of doing it - I will do anything it takes to get you there.

Happiness (Laughing, crying out of joy, etc.):
And of the emotions that I constantly go through, happiness is one that I look forward to the most. It happens as often as we let it considering that it is responsibility that both individuals share. There is no greater feeling while being in love than to experience happiness that, at that very moment in time, only the two of you share. There is nothing more that I could ever wish for than to see you happy for a lifetime.

While my heart was at war with itself, it was then that I realized I was in love.
At what given point in your life do you put yourself through all of these emotions for someone and not be entirely encapsulated by their whole being? It was a slow realization that eventually built up to something that I knew I wanted to continue to understand and feel. Love is a crazy thing. To be in love is to feel every emotion - all the good ones and the bad ones. It is then that you learn the most about someone and that is probably why there is no clear definition of what love truly is or be able to know when you are actually in love. For me, it happened quickly - a surge of every emotion thus far packed into a few days of what seems like nostalgia. For others, it could happen over a course of time amounting from days to weeks to even years.

What I want to say is, do not give up on it.
So whatever it is that you feel, do not hesitate too much. It is only natural. Love is a complete mystery, but as human beings we cannot help but to yearn for companionship and when you do find that someone that can fulfill all of your desires and make you feel like you can take on the world - perhaps they are someone that you should cherish for a lifetime. Emotions are the result of something and if you can work to resolve that something, you can control how you both feel. Obviously that will always be a work in progress, but that is what forever is for, right?